One of the first things you should be doing if you’re having a lot of dating problems is to start keeping records. It’s a forest for the trees issue; you’re so up close and personal that you can’t see what’s going on.

You’re frustrated, you’re horny, you want to make that next date work…

you’re not really in any position to be at all objective or to take the larger view.

If you have a journal of some form, then make sure that any entries that involve your dating problems are tagged appropriately so you can find and group them quickly and efficiently.

Each day, keep a record of what you’ve been doing with an eye towards your particular problem.

If you’ve been making cold approaches, then track everything about each interaction: where you were, what you wore, how you felt, what you said, what you did physically, how she responded, how long you were in the conversation, at what point it ended, etc.

One of the hardest parts of dating is that, more often than not, you’re doing it in a vacuum.

It’s not exactly as though you can hand out comment cards to your dates and ex-girlfriends and get some constructive criticism. Second, many times it’s not going to be actionable advice anyway.

And third, let’s be honest: they just left you for a reason. Unless you’ve got someone who’s actually watching every move you make, you’re going to have to do your own relationship troubleshooting.

So from constant strings of rejection, to flakes to bad break-ups, here’s how you learn to fix your dating mistakes. Part of the reason why dating issues are often so hard to solve is because you’re too close to the source.

It’s a concrete documentation of your emotional state, of your behavior, your immediate thoughts and reactions.

In a lot of ways, it’s a method of having a long-form conversation with yourself.

And – more to the point for this exercise – keeping a dating journal means that you’ll have data about your issue.

Personally, I’d suggest designating a specific journal or file exclusively for this purpose; this makes it much easier to look at it en masse when it’s time to go back over what you’ve written.