What steps should you take before you bring the modification request? Your should do this with your spouse’s lawyer and you should keep a journal of the misconduct.

Second, identify witnesses to the misconduct and inform your attorney of them so he or she can interview the witnesses and obtain statements from them. Our answer is, “who said attorney fees are limited to earnings?

If you fail to act and allow the alienation and conditioning to continue, it will generally fester. ” California law does not limit attorney fee awards, especially Family Code 271 awards, to earnings.

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Alienation, conditioning of the children, or false allegations of abuse can all be combated by a .

It is not in the children’s best interest to have significant parenting time with a parent who engages in any of this misconduct.

Parents who engage in this misconduct also cause serious emotional abuse to their children and further cause damage to the other parent’s relationship with the children.

California family Law appellate cases have ruled that parents who make false allegations of abuse or engage in alienation or conditioning of the children should lose parenting time and joint legal rights in order to protect the children.

Children sometimes need psychological counseling to assist them after years of parental alienation. Even spousal support could be used for an award of attorney fees under certain circumstances. For example, let’s say you have $300,000.00 in equity in a community residence. Is your spouse seeking spousal support or getting it?

If your wife is entitled to half of that, you use that as a basis for awarding sanctions against your spouse. Has she made an attorney fee request or do you expect one?

Do you think your spouse, who is the lower-income earner, will think twice before using the children as leverage or engaging in misconduct knowing she may be paying for it through her share of the equity? What you request is an “offset” of each as the sanction against your spouse.

This is part II of Divorcing a Narcissist and this article focuses on the option available to a higher earner spouse when the lower earner’s narcissism causes unnecessary divorce litigation and fees, including circumstances when the other spouse uses the children as leverage. Lower earning spouses who are frustrated or wish to take their anger out on a higher earning spouse often use the children to punish the other spouse.

This can manifest itself in several ways including interfering with the other parent’s custodial rights, interfering with the other’s parenting time, using alienation and conditioning tactics, making .

Contempt should be used in more egregious cases and not every time there is a disagreement between the parents or a non-substantive violation of a court order.

Contempt cases can be time-consuming because they involve potential criminal consequences and therefore have to go through a formal arraignment, pretrial and trial process. Since lower earning spouses who engage in misconduct often believe they have “nothing to lose” as a result of their misconduct, a contempt petition definitely gets their attention and puts them on notice that the other spouse isn’t going to sit idly by and let violations of court order to occur.