NEW YORK—Recognizing the 14-time All-Star as he played the final game of his 20-year MLB career Friday, the New York Yankees honored retiring third baseman Alex Rodriguez with a three-second-long tribute video.

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The French countryside was like something out of a storybook, the Roman ruins were magnificent, and the men, well, European men are by far the most romantic in the world.

You American men all think you're so suave and sophisticated. European men make you look like the immature, inexperienced little children you are.

They really know how to make a woman feel special over there.

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible.

The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content GAITHERSBURG, MD—Describing how she hung the newly purchased decoration on the living room wall immediately upon returning, sources confirmed Tuesday that area mom Patricia Matheson had brought home a little wooden plaque that says “Family.” WASHINGTON—A report released Monday by the Pew Research Center revealed that a growing number of American fifth-graders are opting to take a gap year to unwind from the stresses of elementary education and recharge themselves before taking on the rigors of middle school.

LOS ANGELES—Telling reporters Monday he felt significant pressure to ensure the project lived up to the high expectations of people around the world, screenwriter Michael Wilder, who is currently adapting the board game Candy Land into a full-length feature film, is reportedly under the impression fans are counting on him to get this right.

PALM BEACH, FL—Saying she was still coming to terms with what she had seen several days earlier, Melania Trump told reporters Monday she was left deeply shaken after discovering a secluded attic room in the Mar-a-Lago estate filled with haunting and grotesque self-portraits painted by her husband.

LIMA, OH—Pointing at the vehicle and shrieking with delight, giddy Democratic vice presidential nominee Tim Kaine reportedly pressed his face against the window of his campaign bus Wednesday to gawk at a passing horse trailer.

INDIANAPOLIS—Saying he was really starting to appreciate the group’s sound, local 37-year-old Ed Johnstone reportedly made an absolutely heartbreaking last-ditch effort this week to get into a new band.

WASHINGTON—Feeling overwhelmed and unable to take it any longer, hundreds of millions of American citizens across the country reportedly thought “I can’t do this anymore” while going quietly about their regular daily routines Wednesday.

NEW YORK—Already eagerly anticipating the team’s follow-up to their lackluster performance in Rio, basketball fans across the nation expressed their excitement to reporters Wednesday about the incredible U. men’s basketball team that will be put together in 2020 as redemption for the 2016 Olympics.